Thursday, May 13, 2021
HomeDeath and DyingHow can I get over the death of my partner?

How can I get over the death of my partner?

Hi Daniel,
My condolences on the loss of your wife. How fortunate you were to have found a love that strong. I have been in the Life Insurance business for going on 39 years. I have helped many clients through the grieving process and speak frequently to grieving groups. What you are talking about is trying to find your way to “get back on the bicycle”, so to speak. You’re right, it is hard when you have been used to having your best friend with you practically every day for many years and suddenly all you have are your memories. Ask yourself this, had it been you that had died, would you have wanted your wife to continue grieving over you for years on end or would you have wanted her to find happiness? My guess is that with a love as deep as the one you both had, likely you would have wanted her to find happiness, right? It is very natural for you to have feelings of guilt about moving on. After all, she was the love of your life, right? However, just because you decide to move on doesn’t invalidate the love you have for her. It will always be there.
So, how to move on? First, you will have to make a plan to finish your grieving. Decide as to how you want to do that. Perhaps writing about your late wife will help you or seeing a therapist who specializes in grief therapy is the way to go for you. Next, you need to rediscover you. Remember you? You may not feel quite ready for dating but try doing things with groups of people. Even going to a sports bar to enjoy a sporting event is a great start. People tend to be friendly there and you just may find yourself having fun. Take some classes in things you have always wanted to learn. An art class or photography for example. Cooking classes are a lot of fun. Learn how to have fun doing things on your own. Then when you think you might be ready, try dating. There is internet dating. You can ask someone you meet out for coffee. People you might know on social media. There are many ways to meet people and if friends know you are available, they may even introduce you. You may be clumsy at first and that is okay. I was newly divorced and on my first date I leaned over to give her a goodnight kiss and kissed her nose. I told her she gave great nose and we both laughed.
Remember that life is for the living. That’s you, okay? Your wife lives on in your memories and you will never forget her. Still, you are very allowed to live a life of happiness.
All the best of luck to you….

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