Thursday, May 13, 2021
HomeDeath and DyingHow can I get over the death of my wife?

How can I get over the death of my wife?

Grief is a natural part of human life. When you lose someone that you’ve created a life with that involves home, family, intimacy, friends, finances, and deep bonds of mutual love you will experience grief that is physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and spiritual. It is a grief that lasts a long while with peaks and valleys. We don’t “get over” grief, we go through it. Grief changes us, it makes us different. Life is changed. Some aspects of our former life will stay the same and some aspects will be permanently different. It is important to see the grief we experience not as a dying process of our own but as a healing process. You will get through this period. You will laugh again, you will see the sunshine, you will know peace and hope and optimism. To help you get through this period here are suggestions: 1. Take care of yourself. Eat healthy, drink water, see your doctor, avoid addictive chemicals, get good sleep, exercise daily, maintain a daily routine that involves eating, hygiene, cleaning, social contact. 2. Cut yourself lots of slack. Accept that you will have some down days. Your memory may not work like normal. You will experience times of very low energy. 3. Recognize that you will experience a range of emotions, thoughts, feelings. These should come and go, that is natural. If you find yourself obsessing on any of these, find someone you can trust such as a good counselor to help you get unstuck. 4. Postpone big decisions for awhile such as your job, where you’ll live, or big purchases. Now is not a good time to begin dating. You will be better equipped later on to make these decisions. 5. Accept that your friends and family may or may not be able to provide you with the support you need. Reach out to new friends. Join a grief group ( your local Hospice will know of grief groups in your area). Find a counselor. 6. Remember that grief is a healing process. Like after you break a bone or go through major surgery you will be out of the mainstream for a time but this time is actually helping you get ready to re-enter and re-engage as a stronger, wiser, more caring and compassionate human being. Embrace this process. Millions of our friends, family, and ancestors have walked this journey before us. We follow.

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