Wednesday, May 12, 2021
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How do I deal with a narcissist sister?

My sister is a malignant narcissist, but a very covert one. I didn’t know this until a few years before my mother died. My sister tricked my mother into signing a quit claim deed to her house and everything in it more than ten years before she died, but this didn’t come out until I went to the court house and reviewed the public records after my mother died. Three years before my mother died, my sister got drunk and told me that as soon as my mother stopped breathing, she was going to kick my disabled niece and other sister out on the street. She didn’t care what happened to them. I know my mother didn’t know about her plan, because I talked to her every day, and she always said that she prayed to live one more day to take care of her family. So, I told my mother my sister’s plan. My mother refused to believe it, even though my sister was executor of her estate. She said that the narcissistic sister would never do it. My mother vowed to come back and haunt her, if she did. HA! My sister then turned my mother completely against me, got her a new phone number, and arranged it that I never saw her again.

Long story short, my mother died while my three children were in her house. My narc sister ordered them out immediately declaring that the house and everything in it was HERS! She followed through with her plan to make her own daughter, who lived with my mother, a ward of the state and put into an institution. She did kick my other totally disabled sister out on the street by handing her a vicious letter from a lawyer. My whole family was destroyed.

All I could do was verify the quitclaim, which was indisputable after my mother died. My narcissist sister took everything both of my parent’s worked for their whole lives. She took money that my mother had openly said was for her disabled granddaughter, my disabled sister, and my own children, and me, of course. She kept all the photos and everything of sentimental value. She even took my mother’s remains, and to this day I don’t know what happened to them. There was no service.

What did I do about it? My whole life had been about placating my sister, walking on egg shells, defending myself against her smears and slander, trying to stay on her good side, and submitting for the sake of family peace. Everyone looked to me to get justice, but there was no legal recourse. The narc had a good lawyer. I had to submit again and accept what she was. By now, I knew her well, since I had been married to a malignant narcissist for thirty years. There is never justice or closure with a malignant narcissist. I did the only thing I could. I completely severed all contact with her. So did two of my children. (She bribed the third one by buying her a new car, so my daughter may speak to her. I don’t ask.)

In short, Deal with your sibling the only way you can, for your own sake. Never speak to, see, or think of them again.

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