Thursday, May 13, 2021
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How do I deal with stupid parents?

I don’t know whether you’re 12 or 40. But obviously you’re at loggerheads with your parents on an issue or two. I’m not going to moralize with you as others have done.

Dealing with parents at any age can be difficult. Their ongoing position is always, “I’m older than you. I know better than you.” But for the most part it’s true. So there’s always that generation gap that’s got the hammer and you’re always the nail.

Like any other problems to come in your life, everything has to be negotiated. Learn to become a good negotiator.

First you have to admit that your negotiating partners (in this case, your parents) are as smart as you,if not smarter, and can outsmart you. So you have to proceed with caution. You will also be outnumbered at the negotiating table and you can’t bring a lawyer. If you negotiate feeling your partners are stupid, they will easily defeat you.

The next thing you need to do is present your side briefly, succinctly, with facts and solid reasoning. “Because everyone is…”is not sufficient enough to win your argument. You must also maintain Your decorum. No yelling, whining or crying to make your point.

Practice your presentation and negotiating out loud in front of a mirror or record yourself. This is your rehearsal for the real thing. Set up a time and place to discuss with no interference from siblings or grandma calling.

Present your case clearly without alternatives to your position. Listen to their rebuttal and look for points that can be negotiated to your advantage in exchange for others you’ve held back, to add in.

Yes, we’ve all thought at one time or another that our parents are stupid or dumb. But if they are, what does that say about you? How could two people who are so stupid manage to bring you up safely, healthy, and so smart? Dumb luck? Don’t think so.

Good luck.

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