Wednesday, May 12, 2021
HomeHow-to QuestionHow do I get away from a toxic person?

How do I get away from a toxic person?

First of all recognize their toxicity. You have to be very sure of that toxicity because if you are not, your resolve will falter. Toxic persons are hereafter referred to as TP:)

Only engage with TP if you absolutely have to. Otherwise keep away from them.

Recognize TP’s patterns and plan ahead. If at work, know their usual time at the coffee fountain and don’t visit it then. If they leave office late, check out right on the dot.

At all costs, avoid their offers of help, for a car ride or to visit a sick colleague together in hospital. Chances are you will soon regret that seeming camaraderie.

When the TP asks you a question about someone, it is usually a hook to get you to talk negatively about that person (and probably misquote you later). Give them the minimum information. Say you don’t know much about the person or that particular situation. Give the devil an inch…

If you have to talk to the TP (maybe they are your boss or your close relative), stick to generalities; the weather, the economy, the news, your report. Just the facts.

Don’t let them in on stuff you are up to. You don’t have to lie. Just don’t offer personal information as it will likely be used against you.

Turn back their questions about you to questions about them. For example TP: “Did you see the new XYZ movie?” Your answer :”Did you see it?”

Learn their cellphone number and at all costs, do not pick up that number when you see it flashing. You can set your phone to reject their calls if you need to. If they are your boss, call them back later when you are ready to talk.

If the toxic person happens to corner you at your desk or in the aisle at the supermarket, with seemingly no escape route; pick up your cellphone and act like you are answering it, walk out the door while giving them a quick wave. All with a smile. Don’t say anything like “back soon’ or whatever. Else you will find them waiting for you when you get back shortly.

Forgive TP so that you do not hold them in your heart. If you do not forgive it will weigh you down and harm your life. If need be get a therapist to help you work out this part of how to forgive. Otherwise, just say it loud “I forgive TP”.

Do not think much about what they say about you or do to you or another person. If possible counter what toxic things they say immediately. As in; reject it right away. TPs know that most people are too polite to tell them they are wrong so if they make negative comments about someone or about you…counter them immediately but politely. You may say; “I disagree”, “I am of a different opinion” or “there may be another explanation” or something to that effect. Briefly and then get out of their social space.

Believe in yourself and your principles. Be Kind. Surround yourself with persons who will add value (not money or power) to your life and to humanity. Be that Non Toxic Person.

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