In this day and age, we seem to be used to having things work out just the way we want them to. At least, that’s we expect. But life is never a series of YES’s to anyone. If it was so, can you imagine how boring it would all be! Victories wouldn’t be so celebrated if it wasn’t for the previous failures that preceded them.
Rejection comes in all shapes and sizes. From the smallest kind like that girl or boy who says they don’t fancy you, to the big and painful letters of rejection you get from a certain job.
How to cope with it? Well, it can be very hard unless you try to see it this way: rejection is neither an insult nor the end of the world. It’s just a person saying NO to you for whatever reason. The motives for a refusal should be completely irrelevant to you.
You’re not what they’re looking for. You’re not “good enough”. Some may even say you’re actually dreadful. Don’t mind them. If you dwell on these reasons, they will only bring you down and there’s nothing good you can accomplish while feeling like a failure.
This particular NO only means that you have yet to find the person who will actually say YES to you. Therefore, rejection can become a motivation to keep trying to find that YES. And if the refusal is what inspires you to keep going, then to believe in yourself is the fuel to do so.
Here are some tips and methods that can help you stay motivated:
– Create a wall of the rejections you have received. It can be either a mental configuration or an actual wall on which you can pin the elements of rejection. These can be anything, from letters to the faces of customers. If you transform each of these elements into a challenge, the wall will become your motivation.
– Think of all the people you have yet to approach. Make an image of all the potential clients or publishers or opportunities you haven’t met yet. Compared to those who have already rejected you, this bunch is much bigger. So this means that the chance of success is out there, you just haven’t found it yet.
– A new customer is a new customer. Never approach someone with the thought of previous rejections in your head. You never know which can be the one.
– Always keep in mind the attributes that make you different from the rest of those who are or have been in the same situation you are. If you know perfectly well what you have to offer, that’s the first thing that you’ll show and, eventually, the reason why they will buy it or support you.
Rejection happens to everyone. Acclaimed author Elizabeth Gilbert faced failure at getting published for almost six years. The devastation she suffered every day because of the rejection letters in her mailbox almost made her quit writing. But she always returned to what she describes as her “home”. To her, this “home” meant doing what she loved more than herself, which was writing. If you find the stimulus to keep working, and “perform your task with diligence and respect, do that again and again and again and it’s all going to be okay”, she says.
Life is always showing us that there’s a bright side to every situation. The trick is to find it amongst that wall of rejections and failures. Just remember, the more of these you get, the bigger your success will be upon your acceptance.
Gilbert, E. (2014, March). Elizabeth Gilbert: Success, failure and the drive to keep creating [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_success_failure_and_the_drive_to_keep_creating/transcript?language=en